Sunday, August 3, 2014

The Dark Side of Relationships


Each of us knows that relationships are quite complex in nature. Life and relationships can be kept pretty simple if we want to. However, it is not as easy as thought and presumed. Why are relationships so complex and difficult to understand. There is something called the dark side of relationships which actually disrupts relationships. Some of the darker side of relationships according to Spitzberg (2006) are lying, jealousy, deception, manipulation, revenge, stalking, cheating, controlling, abuse, offending, hypocrisy and obsessive intrusion. When these characteristics enter into relationships they can badly spoil relationships leading to termination or worse forms of conflicts.

There is often a fine line in relationships which if well managed can help in balancing relationships. This fine line is something I call it as psychological space and freedom we give to one another. Be it between spouses, parents, children, friends, siblings, colleagues and significant others. If we learn to understand and respect each other's psychological space, we will be able to give that freedom to others to function independently as individuals and not interfere into their private space or seldom judge them. Respecting the other person's psychological space smoothens relationships. It creates positive vibes. If our thinking, perception, attitude, intentions, motives and behaviors are free from the dark aspects of relationships, we are able not only to create positive vibes within us but also spread them across to others. 

Why do some people feel cheerful and happy with those who have positive and healthy attitudes? It is because their thoughts, attitudes, perceptions, motives, behaviors are clean and they do not expect to make use of relationships or people ...creating positive vibes around the people they live or interact.

Reference
Spitzberg, B.H. (2006). A Struggle in the Dark. California: Roxbury